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2 года 4 мес. назад #339 от VivianPag
VivianPag ответил в теме Motherhood: a new self
Motherhood: a new self
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п»ї<title>Motherhood: a new self</title>

Motherhood is a vital stage tinged with illusion and stress in almost equal parts. It involves a major break with your old self and the birth of a new role: being a mother.
Although we welcome this new role with great desires and hopes, the fact of having to assume responsibilities that we did not have before, new interests and even unknown feelings, can be distressing.
As in any area of life, when you start out on a journey for the first time, you begin as a novice and your environment demands that you adapt.
Being a mother -and a father- is going from taking care of yourself, worrying about your health, your physique, your well-being, etc., to having to do it for another being as well. A being who is ahead of you on the priority scale most of the time.
It is an immense act of love, splendid and unconditional, but at the same time it breaks in a way with the identity that one had set for oneself until now. The reality is that motherhood forces you to give up some parts of yourself, or at least to put them aside for a while.
This renunciation implies that "you are no longer so important", even if it is not true. But by not having as much time or resources to take care of yourself in the same way, to carry out the same plans or projects, you may find yourself inevitably neglected. This can take a substantial toll on a mother's self-esteem.
What areas are most disrupted by motherhood? Being a mother involves reinventing yourself in a multitude of ways. It is healthy, as well as desirable, to continue to preserve intimate moments and try not to let go or abandon your identity or interests. But inevitably plans, projects or stories will arise that you have to give up, simply because they are incompatible.
The good news is that giving up does not mean that they disappear from your life completely, but rather, that they are modified, thus creating "a new you". Some of the areas in which motherhood forces us to reinvent ourselves are:
Social relationshipsFriends are one of the vital components that are most affected when motherhood begins. Unless most friends have children at the same time and then all are forced to take on a new role, changes are most common.
Plans hardly ever stay the same. Time is no longer what it was before motherhood and therefore, there is less availability for certain plans such as trips, festivals or late nights out, for example.
Desire and motivation also change. It is usual for a mother to feel very tired most of the time and when she has a free time she wants to rest. Therefore, this area is forced to change.
Mothers begin to socialize with other mothers. With these groups they have more common interests, more topics to talk about and the children can play with each other. This does not mean that we abandon our previous friendships. The ideal is to keep them as much as possible.
The world of workToday, work-life balance is still a utopia. When motherhood rears its head, a new worker is born. The demands of breastfeeding or being available for the baby make it very difficult to combine work and parenting.
As a result, many women are forced to give up their jobs and continue to grow in their careers. Others do not give up, but find themselves immersed in a tsunami of daily stress and anxiety. In any case, the working woman that one was before motherhood has become a different woman.
Self-careThis area is almost entirely relegated to the baby. Physique or personal well-being are no longer as important issues as they once were.
It is quite normal for the mother to not see herself as attractive, as the lack of time makes this area take a back seat. In addition, the consequences of pregnancy itself and childbirth cause many women to see their physique modified.
Rest and leisureIf before the person came home from work, took a shower, made herself comfortable and watched a series on Netflix, after motherhood, this is over. There is another being to take care of, groom, dress, entertain, feed and put to bed.
Leisure, as we said in the first point, is also different. Plans become much more relaxed, usually at earlier hours and with different people who understand us and with whom we can empathize.
The coupleThe couple to a large extent becomes a "caretaker team". Trying to keep this to a minimum is ideal, as we have to force ourselves to have moments alone and intimate. But the couple's context is no longer the same: it is more difficult to go out to dinner alone, to have uninterrupted conversations or to find the time for sex.
In addition, the couple is suddenly immersed in an environment of pediatricians, diapers, toys, walks, etc., which forces them to reinvent themselves and take on new responsibilities.
What is in our hands to continue preserving our identity? we must be clear that we are who we are. That is to say, identity is not erased just like that. To the best of our ability, and always being realistic, we must try to do our best to preserve ourselves and not get carried away. It is also mature to accept the reality that many things will change and that we must adapt to these changes, whether we like them more or less.
It is up to us, for example, to ask for help. Without abusing, obviously. But there are grandparents, uncles, aunts and uncles or caregivers. It is desirable that a child spends a lot of time with his parents, but the key to this is that the parents are emotionally stable.
If this does not happen, it is much more advisable to ask for help, stabilize ourselves, take a breath and go back to being with our children, without having to feel guilty.
Another option is to create your own times of disconnection with your partner. This implies that sometimes one of us will take care of the children and other times the other partner will do it. The idea of this is that it is done with love, without later on throwing in whose turn it is, who stayed the longest, without interrupting the moment, etc.
Although motherhood can be very hard, it is still a vital change, as is the passage from childhood to adolescence. What happens is that, in this case, it is a freely chosen option. It is important to begin to become attached to this new situation, to assume that there are things from the past that will not return but that there are others that can bring us the greatest satisfaction if we know how to take advantage of them.
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2 года 4 мес. назад #340 от VivianPag
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п»ї<title>Adversity causes some people to overcome their limits and others to break down</title>

The hardest limits to break and overcome are the limits that are in our minds. Anthony Robbins, one of the most famous motivational speakers of our time and probably the person who has contributed the most to personal change in the last 30 years, suggests that success is 80% psychology and 20% strategy.
The problem lies in the fact that strategy boundaries are often studied and trained, but mental boundaries go unnoticed behind the personality. Mental boundaries as such do not really exist, but rather are created by us. The only way to change your limits is to first understand how you create them.
The more mental boundaries we have, the worse the image we get of ourselves. Our limitations distort our self-esteem and that affects the results we achieve. We act based on how we conceive ourselves.
Test what would happen if you were: the cheapest, the fastest, the slowest, the most popular, the easiest, the most efficient, the most hated, the imitator, the oldest, the newest. If there is a limit, you must test it.
Adversity is our ally? when faced with adversity, people have two options: try to avoid it or face it. I could not be more convinced that a life without adversity is a sterile life. Each one of us is the result of learning from complicated situations.
Adverse situations are the scenario that makes us go out of our comfort zone to other much more enriching situations. The zone that is on the other side of our comfort zone is a zone that allows us to expand, to discover our own traits and resources, unknown to us until then, and allows us to turn walls into stepping stones.
When adversity calls you remember these words of the father of Psychology, Sigmund Freud; I have been a lucky man in life: nothing came easy to me.
"There is no one less fortunate than the man whom adversity forgets, for he has no opportunity to test himself."
Living with non-limitation as a limitThe only way to eliminate our mental limits is by questioning or rather challenging them. First, before putting ourselves to the test, we have to consider whether what we have thought and believed for a while is true. That is to say, we have to look for real and convincing proof that what we think is true in the evidence and not in our supposed limits.
Having questioned our limitations, we need to check if we have ever challenged ourselves, when we did it, how we did it and what prompted me to do it. If we have not done it before, we will have to ask ourselves why this might be, and what is it that we need to do to make this the first time we do it?
In order to challenge the limits that we think surround us, we need to ask ourselves what would happen if we decided to break them. This simple question, with the corresponding visualization of ourselves breaking our limits, can help us to get out of the fear that can generate us to take a step into the unknown. And, above all, ask ourselves what will happen if we do nothing. Sadly we already know the answer to this question, if we do nothing it will probably not change anything.
It is important that we begin to be aware of what we can change in our mind. The simple fact of including "I cannot do it" in the phrase "I cannot do it yet" is a simple change that generates a very positive unconscious effect. This added word opens up the possibility of achieving what we have not been able to do so far. Remember, challenging our limits is the first step to overcoming them.
There are many bitter things, many. In reality, a person who wants to become independent has to take care of something. This is how we know our own limits. This is the beginning of everything.
-Banana Yoshimoto
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2 года 4 мес. назад #341 от VivianPag
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п»ї<title>Eugen Bleuler: a pioneer in schizophrenia research</title>

Eugen Bleuler was born in 1857 in Zurich and, throughout his professional career, he made numerous very relevant contributions to the field of psychology. For this reason, and for others that we will see throughout this article, we consider it important to know the biography of this psychiatrist and some of his most outstanding works and research.
Before we begin, however, we cannot overlook the important influence that Freud had on Eugen Bleuler. The entire work of what is considered the father of psychoanalysis captivated him to such an extent that he made him his greatest reference. We will see, later on, how this influence would have an impact on his studies.
The beginnings of Eugen BleulerAs the article Paul Eugen Bleuler and the origin of the term schizophrenia indicates, this psychiatrist began his studies in medicine in his hometown, Zurich. After working as a psychiatrist, he moved to Paris, London and then Munich in order to continue the research he had begun in this field.
In Munich, he worked in a laboratory until, in 1885, he became assistant physician at Burghölzli. The following year, he was appointed director of the Rheinau Psychiatric Hospital at the age of 29. After this excellent start to his professional career, exactly 12 years later, he was appointed full professor of psychiatry at the University of Zurich.
Sigmund Freud's hysteriaOne of the aspects that most interested Eugen Bleuler about Freud's studies were his articles on hysteria. For some reason, Bleuler had a special interest in hypnotism and introspection, which caused him to soak up all the knowledge and advances that Freud had made.
However, despite the fixation that Eugen Bleuler may seem to have had with Freud, he was always very cautious. As the article we have mentioned, Paul Eugen Bleuler and the origin of the term schizophrenia, indicates, he was displeased with some of the concepts that Freud dealt with, such as, for example, libido.
"The transposition thus accomplished of the object libido into narcissistic libido manifestly entails, a resignation of sexual goals, a desexualization and, therefore, a sort of sublimation."
-Sigmund Freud
Therefore, although it was a great reference for him and he used the concepts of psychoanalysis to be able to give an answer to one of his great discoveries, it is essential to emphasize that, although he agreed with Freud, he also differed in many aspects.
The birth of the term schizophreniaFollowing the article published by the American Journal of Psychiatry, Paul Eugen Bleuler and the birth of schizophrenia (1908), we see that Eugen Bleuler coined the term schizophrenia for the first time in April 1908. This was made possible by the fact that he had used certain concepts from Sigmund Freud's psychoanalysis.
In doing so, he also echoed the concept of dementia and its forms previously coined by Kraepelin. However, Eugen Bleuler realized that this term referred to a symptom of schizophrenia.
Given his deep research on the subject, he came to the conclusion that what happened to people was that they suffered a division in their thought process. Therefore, based on the Greek language, the name schizophrenia was born from "schizo" (division) and "frenia" (mind).
Subtypes of schizophreniaOnce the term was coined, Eugen Bleuler did not stop investigating this disease and, based on the research that Kraepelin had already done on dementia, he came to the conclusion that there were different subtypes of schizophrenia.
The three subtypes were: paranoid, catatonic and emotional or hebephrenic. All of them had already been collected by Kraepelin, but Eugen Bleuler did not follow all of his theories. The dementia that Kraepelin defined did not take into account the fact that there was not always a progressive deterioration, nor did it appear early and, much less, that the subtypes were exclusive.
For all this, Eugen Bleuler conducted his own research to coin a new concept, more in line with the reality that he himself was able to analyze. Thus, at present, we use it having clear what it means thanks to all the work that this psychiatrist carried out.
Eugenic sterilizationBefore concluding, it is worth mentioning the concept of eugenic sterilization. A practice that consisted of sterilizing people suffering from schizophrenia in order to prevent their children from inheriting the disease.
Today, we know that schizophrenia is not a disease that can be considered hereditary; in fact, just because someone in the family has had it does not mean that other family members will suffer from it. However, at the time of Eugen Bleuler, studies on schizophrenia were scarce and were just taking their first steps.
Despite this, Eugen Bleuler made it possible to investigate one of the diseases that today affects more than 21 million people, according to data from the World Health Organization (WHO). Likewise, he carried out a commendable work of which, although he still had many aspects to be perfected, he achieved an important breakthrough.
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2 года 4 мес. назад #342 от VivianPag
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п»ї<title>Character: is the internal motivation to do what is right, not what is expedient.</title>
Character is the most important of all virtues, but it requires courage, honesty and loyalty to oneself. Only then can we sleep with a clear conscience, always doing what is right at all times and not what is convenient, not what others think or want. Character is therefore an exceptional mental attitude and the essence of our personality.
It is often said, somewhat lightly, it must be said, that such a person has no character and that another has too strong a character. There are also those who say that what is truly attractive in human beings, beyond mere physical appearance, is character. All this undoubtedly leads us to conclude that we are facing a very relevant dimension through which we categorize people.
"Knowledge will give you power, but character will give you respect."
-Bruce Lee
Likewise, thinking that character and personality are the same thing is a very common mistake. It is not. In psychology, character is part of the foundation of personality, together with temperament and aptitudes. In fact, for most of the psychologists dedicated to the study of this interesting portion of personality, they explain that it greatly influences the rest of the psychological dimensions.
It is, so to speak, the quintessence of our being.
Character is our educated willWe all have strengths in our character, inner strengths that pull us when we need them most. But where do they come from, and how is this fascinating psychological craft of character built? We could venture to say that it is a subtle combination of our genes, the environment in which we have grown up and the result of our experiences. There is no shortage of people who say so, however, there is something more uplifting and even inspiring.
A person's character is not shaped in a day or two. There is a certain voluntariness in it, there is an awakening where the person sooner or later becomes - or should become - aware of his or her rigid patterns of thought, of those limiting attitudes instilled by education and even of those invisible "bar codes" that society itself imprints on our minds to condition us.
Character is also a personal choice, it is a cumulative force where we finally dare to be reactionary, to value our essences and individuality, knowing what is the right thing to do at any given moment and act on that basis. Aristotle himself once said that this dimension integrates moral duty on the one hand and personal inclinations on the other. Together, they should therefore have a single purpose: to act on the basis of nobility, on the basis of what is right. Only in this way do we ensure our dignity, our integrity and the well-being of society itself.
"Character and personal strength are the only investments worth anything."
-Walt Whitman
The three pillars of characterSomething we have been able to understand so far - and which we cannot lose sight of - is that everyone is responsible for his or her character. Authors and great experts on the subject such as Renne Le Senne or Gaston Berger tell us that our character does not show itself definitively either in childhood or in adolescence. In fact, this complex tuning that shapes our values, feelings and attitudes is established over time.
Therefore, it is always a good time to start "ironing out" certain edges of our character or to polish certain dimensions that will allow us to perform much better in our daily environments.
"Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education."
-Martin Luther King
Thus, these same authors point out that the formation of our character depends on how we interpret, approach or dispose ourselves with respect to three very specific dimensions. These are described below.
Emotionality Emotionality refers to our capacity to generate certain emotions based on certain stimuli. It also shapes our sensitivity and the way we react to the emotions of others. Something that emerges from this dimension is that we do not all react in the same way to the same things and that difference, that nuance, also shapes our character.
There are cold characters incapable of reacting to the pain of others and there are more sensitive characters who do not hesitate, for example, to risk their own lives to help others.
ActivityEach one of us is guided and acts on the basis of values and principles that we internalize and make our own. However, and here comes one of the most interesting nuances on the subject of character, is that not all of us are capable of reacting to what we consider unfair or contrary to our value system.
For example, if I work in a restaurant where there is too much food, I will implement certain behaviors so that the excess does not go to the garbage but to people who need it. However, there is no shortage of people who opt for immobility, for turning a blind eye and not drawing attention to themselves, limiting themselves to doing the same as others even though they know it is not the right thing to do.
Finally, a basic dimension for understanding how character is built is resonance. It refers to the time it takes us to react when we see or experience certain things. For example, I just got out of a dependent and unhappy relationship. After a few months, I meet a person who has almost the same abusive personality as my previous partner.
There will be people with low resonance who have not yet been able to interpret or react to previous experiences in order to learn from them. Something like this will inevitably lead them to perpetuate the same mistakes, to let themselves go, to not build a more dignified, strong and even healthy character.
To conclude, as we said at the beginning, character is the most important of all our virtues, thanks to it we keep our balance in the waves of adversity, thanks to it we get out of bed every day feeling stronger, braver and ready to do what we consider right at any given moment.
Let us therefore invest all our energies in building a character that allows us to be freer and above all, happy.
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2 года 4 мес. назад #343 от VivianPag
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п»ї<title>Atopic dermatitis and stress: how are they related?</title>

Although physical problems are not usually associated with emotional problems, as in this case stress, the truth is that the relationship between the two is strong (in fact, all emotional problems have a physiological correlate). Today we are going to deal with atopic dermatitis, also known as "atopic skin", which many people suffer in silence, with shame, even causing them problems in relating to others. How can this be possible?
Atopic dermatitis is a disease that affects the skin and causes intense and severe itching. The lesions that occur on the skin are often called "eczema" and are like welts that flake off and cause severe itching. They can appear all over the body and also on the face.
It is important to mention that atopic dermatitis does not have a cure. Sufferers can prevent it or alleviate the symptoms with specific treatments, but the risk of it appearing will always be there. In fact, there are some seasons, such as autumn or winter, that can aggravate outbreaks. Proper hydration and treatment can keep it at bay.
"In Spain up to 15% of the population suffers from severe atopic dermatitis."
-Javier Ortiz de Frutos (dermatologist) and Ainara RodrГ­guez (allergist).
Atopic dermatitis and its impact on childrenAtopic dermatitis can affect children at a very young age. They are unruly, restless, unable to sleep well at night and, if they are babies, they may cry a lot for no apparent reason. All these problems can be accompanied, at school age, by lack of concentration due to lack of sleep.
However, we cannot leave aside the emotional consequences that atopic dermatitis generates in young children. Due to the itching and unbearable discomfort, children can become irritable, annoyed and angry, generating very tense situations. The reason for all this is the stress caused by this skin condition.
But it does not stop there. Dermatitis can generate a strong insecurity and dependence. To illustrate it in a better way we bring a fragment of the testimony of a mother, Delphine, whose son Hugo started suffering from atopic dermatitis since he was 4 months old:
"When he was little he was not bothered by this aspect. However, when he grew up, he developed a terrible complex because of his scaly skin. His friends at school even started to tease him and he couldn't sleep at night because of the itching. Sometimes he would scratch himself until he drew blood."
As we can see, this skin problem can lead to a strong feeling of insecurity that makes it difficult to relate to other children. However, if the child is not helped to overcome this from the very beginning and is not given the necessary tools so that his self-esteem is not affected, the consequences may become chronic in adulthood.
The adult with dermatitisAn adult with atopic dermatitis suffers from it in a different way. The problem in adulthood compromises and tests emotional management. People are irritable and irascible. At the same time, they may have anxiety problems and even fall into depression. Let us give some examples of real situations.
For an adult with atopic dermatitis, talking in front of other people can be a real ordeal. Nerves can provoke an unexpected outbreak at the wrong time. The resulting embarrassment can increase their anxiety, aggravating the dermatitis problem. This creates a cycle that is difficult to break out of.
There are other situations where the adult may feel compromised, such as going to the beach or even having intimate relations with other people. The main problem, in this case, are the wounds sometimes left by dermatitis outbreaks. If the sufferer scratches, the problem increases and the marks may take a long time to disappear.
The insecurity of not knowing when the dermatitis will appear, if it will appear, in what way, if it will affect the face... All this, triggers a stress that does not help. Because if dermatitis can generate stress, stress makes dermatitis worse. This situation can cause the dermatitis sufferer to have reduced self-esteem due to insecurity, fear and embarrassment. In some cases, this can also lead to depression.
"DA (atopic dermatitis) is a bad companion, it is one of those that come without warning, they hurt you for no reason and they know what you want to do and when to spoil it for you. You don't know how you will wake up tomorrow, or if you will be able to sleep tonight. Maybe you'll go to bed and suddenly your face will burn and your skin will break, leaving it raw like this."
-JesГєs MarГ­a Torres GarcГ­a (has suffered from dermatitis since the age of 4).
As we have been able to realize, especially with the testimonies, dermatitis and stress are circumstances that are usually associated and form a circle in which the person suffers, and a lot. They do not know when the dermatitis will appear again, in what unfortunate situation it will appear and when it will decide to leave.
In many cases, the frustration of these people is compounded by the fact that they are unable to find an adequate treatment. Because every skin is different and not all of them react well to the same type of solution. However, despite being able to have everything at hand to prevent or control a dermatitis outbreak, the next question will always come to mind: when is the next time?
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2 года 4 мес. назад #344 от VivianPag
VivianPag ответил в теме How to make friends as an adult
How to make friends as an adult
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п»ї<title>How to make friends as an adult</title>

Friendships come and go throughout life. When we're little, we may have the feeling that making friends is easy. But as adults, how do you make friends as an adult? In this article we give you some ideas for meeting people. Perhaps the lack of time to socialize, stress, responsibilities or the loss of childhood friends, make you think that it is difficult to get new friends. However, it is not impossible!
In addition, making friends, at whatever age, makes our empathy soar, as a study from the University of Virginia (USA) affirms.
On the other hand, psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad, from Brigham Young University in Utah, states that "not having a supportive social network is a more powerful mortality factor than suffering from obesity or leading a sedentary life without physical exercise". Still have doubts about the importance of making friends? Don't miss our tips for boosting friendships as an adult!
"Adults have a greater tendency to get stuck in a routine that consists merely of working, sleeping and, possibly, taking care of their children. With this pace of life, friendships are often lower on the priority list."
-Martin Burrow, Realte consultant.
How to make friends as an adultA study by the Realte organization has revealed how in the UK, one in eight adults have no close friends. However, although it is not always easy to make friends as an adult, it is not impossible. Here are some ideas on how to do it:
Sign up for activitiesOne of the great ways to socialize are group activities; therefore, you can choose to sign up for a course, workshop, activity, group, association... Surely in your city there are multiple activities to do! In case you live in a town, you can choose to look for activities in the nearest city or even in your own town.
This option is a good way to meet people, and you can also learn something new or take up that hobby you've been neglecting. In addition, it is an easy way to meet people of your age with whom you share tastes. On the other hand, you can also opt for a new activity that you have never practiced before; that will help you get out of your comfort zone and bring you new experiences. If you think about it, it all adds up!
"Don't be afraid to branch out, to step out of your comfort zone. That's where the joy and adventure lies."
-Herbie Hancock.
Play sportsIn line with the above, another idea that can help you make friends as an adult is to play sports. Whether you join a gym or go jogging, these are options that can help you meet people your age. Of course, you will have to try to bring out your most extroverted side.
On the other hand, there are also many groups that meet up to do sports (for example, skating, running or hiking...). On the Internet there are websites -like Meetup- that allow you to meet people to make certain plans (not only sports). You can do a little research on their website and see which groups interest you the most. You can't lose anything by trying!
On the other hand, sport is never too much in our lives. The sports psychologist Miguel Morilla stresses the importance of physical exercise in improving our individual and social well-being, which can also help reduce anxiety or depression problems in some people. Thus, it is not only a door to meet people, but also a resource to improve our quality of life.
Keep an open attitudeIt is clear that not all of us are equally extroverted; however, if you keep an open attitude towards people, this can help you to meet people in depth and make friends. If we are rather shy, it can help us to introduce ourselves progressively in groups, or go to a new group or activity with someone we trust at the beginning.
Extraversion is a personality trait that some people manifest naturally, and others not so much. However, it can also be "learned" to be so.
In this line, a recent study, published in the Journal of Experimental and led by researcher Margolis S., suggests that extroverted people are happier, even when they are really introverted.
As we can see, this characteristic can help us break the ice and connect with people, which would make it easier to make friends as an adult.
Keep in touchKeeping in touch with the friends you make is a way to nurture those friendships and make them last over time. It is not only important to make friends, but also to keep them.
How can you keep in touch when you have a thousand responsibilities? Simply by finding small moments to call or see those people. It is not necessary to meet for hours many days in a row; simply choose to write to them, sign up for plans when they propose them, etc.. In short, let them know that you are still there.
"Friendship is a strong bond that will never be broken if among friends they sow the seeds to be watered and cared for."
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