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2 года 4 мес. назад #351 от VivianPag
The six blind wise men and the elephant: a tale of valuing the opinions of others.
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п»ї<title>The six blind wise men and the elephant: a tale of valuing the opinions of others.</title>

It is not always easy to value the opinions of others because when they clash with our own we tend to give priority and greater veracity to our own. This causes us to become intransigent and to refuse to analyze the way others perceive reality. Instead of enriching us, this situation actually impoverishes us.
Among other reasons, if we act this way, it is because, even if we deny it, we like to be right. However, as a quote from the article RelaciГіn entre dos conceptos: informaciГіn, conocimiento y valor. Similarities and differences "you can only be right if you run the risk of being wrong".
In order to open our eyes to this widespread attitude, today we will discover a story that will help us to value the opinions of others with the knowledge derived from their background. To do so, we invite you to read it carefully.
The Tale of the Six Blind Wise Men and an ElephantOnce upon a time there were six wise men who lived in a small village. All six were blind. One day, someone brought an elephant into the village. Faced with such a situation, the six men searched for a way to find out what an elephant looked like, since they could not see it.
- I know," said one of them, "Let's feel it!
- Good idea," said the others. Then we'll know what an elephant looks like.
Said and done. The first one felt one of the elephant's big ears. He slowly touched it back and forth.
- The elephant is like a big fan," said the first wise man.
The second, feeling the elephant's legs, exclaimed: "It's like a tree!
- You are both wrong," said the third sage, and after examining the elephant's tail, he exclaimed, "The elephant is like a rope!
Just then, the fourth sage, who was feeling the tusks, bellowed: "The elephant is like a spear!
- No, no," cried the fifth. It is like a high wall (the fifth sage had been feeling the elephant's side).
The sixth sage waited until the end and, holding the elephant's trunk in his hand, said: "You are all wrong, the elephant is like a snake".
- No, no. Like a rope.
- Snake.
- A wall.
- You are wrong.
- I am right.
- You're not!
The six men exalted each other in an endless discussion for hours, without agreeing on what the elephant looked like.
To value the opinions of others, you have to listenOne thing we can take away from this story is that to value the opinions of others, you have to learn to listen. The six wise men in the story did not pay attention to what their companions said, they only affirmed what they had felt with their hands. But that was just a guess.
In the end, none of them came close to the true picture of what an elephant looks like, although they all stubbornly defended their opinion. This, which may seem so absurd to us, happens frequently. Certainly, they were all correct in their perception. However, none of them coincided with reality. None of them were able to value the opinions of others.
How can this story help us? The next time you have an opinion that differs from that of the people around you, I suggest you try to look at the situation from their perspective. For that, it is essential to listen, to ask questions if we do not understand something and, also, to express our own position.
This does not mean that others cannot be wrong, but that we will learn to be aware that everyone perceives reality in a different way, and that everyone has a portion of reason. In fact, as the article The search for reality or truth: an approach based on sociological theory points out, Plato, with the Myth of the Cave, pointed out that it is possible for different interpretations of the same reality to exist.
Influenced by our experiences, values and beliefs, our way of seeing reality can differ quite a lot from that of others. But does that mean that there are some that are true and some that are not? The answer is "no." Therefore, valuing the opinions of others will allow us to enrich ourselves rather than impoverish ourselves by defending our own truth which, as we have seen with the story of the elephant and the six wise men, is probably not as "accurate" as we think.
"The idea of truth is about a mental interpretation of reality transmitted by the senses. [...] Meanwhile, we must remember that mental interpretation includes beliefs, values and, ultimately, consciousness, because it can deceive us [...] constructing a truth only for ourselves."
-Josep Vidal
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2 года 4 мес. назад #352 от VivianPag
It only looks good with the heart, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
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п»ї<title>It only looks good with the heart, what is essential is invisible to the eye.</title>

The little prince has given us many teachings, but there is one of them that deserves a closer look. This is the one that goes like this: the essential is invisible to the eyes. How many things we overlook because we give great importance to what we see? What is it that escapes us because we only see with our eyes, instead of with our heart? Let's enjoy this beautiful chapter from The Little Prince.
-Go and see the roses; you will understand that yours is unique in the world. You will say goodbye to me again and I will give you a secret.
The little prince went to see the roses to which he said:
-They are nothing, nor are they anything like my rose. No one has tamed them, nor have you tamed anyone. They are like the fox was before, which was no different from a hundred thousand other foxes. But I made him my friend and now he is unique in the world.
The roses were annoyed to hear the little prince, who continued to tell them:
-You are very beautiful, but you are empty and no one would give his life for you. Anyone who sees you will undoubtedly believe that my rose is the same as any of you. But she knows she is more important than all, because I have watered her, because it was her I sheltered with the fanal, because I killed her worms (except for two or three that became butterflies) and it is her I have heard complain, praise and sometimes even shut up. Because she is my rose, in short.
And he went back to the fox.
-Farewell," he said.
-Farewell," said the fox. Here is my secret, which could not be simpler: only with the heart can one see well; what is essential is invisible to the eyes.
-The essential is invisible to the eyes," repeated the little prince to remind himself.
-What makes your rose more important is the time you have wasted with it.
-It is the time I have wasted with it..." repeated the little prince to remind himself of this.
Saint ExupГЁry's teachingsRecalling this endearing fragment of The Little Prince today we bring you some of the most beautiful teachings that Saint ExupГЁry left us for life that speak to us of what is essential. Applying them in our daily life will allow us to enjoy it in a better way and achieve greater well-being.
Pay attention to the little thingsFirst of all, he reminds us of the importance of the little things, those that go unnoticed and that reflect the essentials of our life. We must give back to the small details the place they deserve, since one day we will realize that they are the ones that constitute the greatest feats.
We tend to overlook the little things, not giving them the value they deserve. This, over time, can generate sadness and remorse.
What for many is little, for others is a lotWhat for many is little, for others is a lot, so we must appreciate things as simple as a good morning with a kiss or a gesture of affection. If your partner, your family or you yourself claim the presence of small pleasures, pay attention, because they are the ones that make you great and make up the aroma of memories.
Remember that, just as a sea is made up of drops of water, a day of tiny seconds and a life of infinite experiences, love is made up of small details and you are made up of each of these little things that you live and that make you unique.
Life is made up of the most basic thingsEveryone tries to accomplish something great without realizing that life is made up of the most basic things. Be sincere with your need to do the right thing at every moment, because your inner self speaks to you to tell you that you don't need to have spectators to feel great.
We always try to get more things, to gain recognition... Forgetting that life is simpler and that happiness lies there, in what is essential.
Beauty is withinBut this beautiful moment in the story of The Little Prince also has other readings; among them today we want to emphasize that true beauty is the inner beauty, because it is the only one that does not perish, the only one that cannot be taken away and that can only be seen when you look at it with the eyes of the soul.
Beauty is not measured by what we can see with the naked eye, because true beauty is an attitude. We live concerned about appearances, not to be outlandish and not to be out of tune with the conventions that imprison us and do not allow us to show the world our splendor.
The reality is that there is no makeup on the planet that can beautify an ugly heart. We have a serious problem when it comes to understanding this, which, on the other hand, is extremely important to develop our self-esteem.
A beautiful interior is built by loving life and getting rid of absences and negative feelings. It is constituted by enlarging our inner world, making it more extensive, eliminating emotional comfort and collecting our own motives.
Be soft, don't let pain harden you. Don't let pain make you hate, don't let bitterness dominate you. Create your own beauty, one that cannot be defined with words and cultivate yourself with the little details. Because you can only see well with your heart, because the essential is invisible to the eyes...
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2 года 4 мес. назад #353 от VivianPag
Detects early symptoms of ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis).
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п»ї<title>Detects early symptoms of ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis).</title>

The first symptoms of ALS may appear before the age of 40. Thus, although the incidence is higher in men, many women are also living with this degenerative disease. The most striking aspect of this neurological condition is that in most cases it arises randomly and without predetermined risk factors. A Russian roulette that affects 2 out of every 100,000 inhabitants.
One of the cases that undoubtedly comes immediately to mind when we talk about amyotrophic lateral sclerosis is Stephen Hawking. One of the most striking facts about the famous and esteemed theoretical physicist was his life expectancy. On average, an ALS patient can live in 3 and 10 years once diagnosed with the disease.
Hawking was diagnosed at the age of 21 and died at 76. A paper from King's College London in 2002 revealed some of the factors that explained this miracle: the younger a patient is, the slower the disease progresses and, on average, it is unusual for ALS to appear so early.
In addition, factors such as a very careful diet and intensive physiotherapy also improved his quality of life for years. This is precisely one of the dimensions for which patients and relatives are crying out the loudest: more resources are needed for this disease, as well as more personalized care.
Nor can we forget that a person with ALS never loses his or her mental condition. It is to be trapped in an increasingly weak, painful and dependent body. The only hope today is science, investing much more in this kind of cruel and urgent reality.
Symptoms of ALS - what are they? Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) defines a type of neurological disease (rare) that is linked to the upper motor neurons responsible for regulating movement. The areas that are affected are those as basic as being able to walk, talk, chew, carry out any type of voluntary movement, etc.
It is a degenerative, progressive and fatal condition for which there is no treatment. There are strategies to slow its progression. However, to this day, we still do not prevent these nerve cells from degenerating and dying, so that the brain stops communicating with the muscles for good, to the point of causing severe debilitation and absolute dependence.
As we pointed out at the beginning, it is not known what factors promote the onset of ALS. There is, however, experimental research, such as that carried out at the Laboratory of Neurobiology by Dr. Wim Robberecht, which speaks of the possible mutation of certain proteins or of frontotemporal dementia.
However, it is known, for example, that between 5 and 10% of cases have a genetic origin. Having a close relative with this disease may increase the risk of suffering from it, but it is not a determining factor. However, about 90 % of the remaining 90 % suffer from what is known as sporadic ALS, i.e. it arises randomly and without knowing the reason.
However, let us see what the symptoms are.
First of the symptoms of ALS: weakening of the hand or armHaving trouble holding weights with the arms, not being able to open a door lock, trouble writing a message on the cell phone, getting dressed... One of the first characteristics of this disease is that feeling that the hands are weaker and clumsier than usual. They fail, they are not as functional as usual?
Suddenly you start to become clumsier, you stumble, you lose your balance...ALS patients rarely relate that sudden clumsiness to this disease. "Maybe I'm lacking vitamins; maybe I'm not taking good care of myself," they say to themselves. Gradually, however, they become aware that something is wrong. It is not normal that they suddenly stumble so many times or that walking becomes uncomfortable because they feel less flexible, as if their legs were made of wood.
Bulbar onset: swallowing problemsBulbar onset defines one of the first symptoms of ALS and is difficulties in speaking (dysarthria) and swallowing (dysphagia). It should be noted that this feature tends to be more common in women. It is a situation of high distress for both the person him/herself and the environment, since it means having to receive external aids to facilitate feeding.
In addition, the voice becomes tense, hoarse and with serious difficulties to articulate clear messages. This has a serious impact.
Fasciculations: loss of muscle controlFasciculations define those situations in which the person experiences involuntary muscle contractions. They can be seen even under the skin, like sudden localized nerve discharges in a specific muscle region. It can be the arms, legs and even the tongue....
The distress of cramps and poor night's restAnother symptom of ALS is intense cramps: sudden, painful and distressing. So much so that nighttime rest loses quality. Fortunately, with the right medication this feature can be improved.
Symptoms of ALS: hypersalivationOne of the most striking and annoying features for the patient is the difficulty in controlling salivation. It becomes excessive and annoying. However, it should be noted that drugs are also available to control this situation.
To conclude, the symptomatology of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis usually always appears with these factors. The most debilitating thing is that despite being able to palliate some situations with pharmacological and physiotherapeutic treatments, the progression is unstoppable.
Fortunately, the crusade to find a strategy to reverse or stop the disease is there, science does not stop, it needs more means, it is true, but this continued effort will eventually give hope at some point. Let's hope it will be soon.
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2 года 4 мес. назад #354 от VivianPag
VivianPag ответил в теме How to stop crying?
How to stop crying?
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п»ї<title>How to stop crying?</title>

Emotional crying is an instinctive behavior that favors the release of stress and the management of states such as sadness, grief, anger, anguish, an emotional breakup, etc. Few behaviors are more cathartic, but socially frowned upon at the same time.
Those who cry are considered weak and emotionally unstable. Perhaps, for this reason, we often feel the need to stop, to stop this physiological reaction. It may also be the case that someone, because of his personality, is more prone to cry for almost anything, including trivial and unimportant aspects. Therefore, it is legitimate that at some point we find ourselves in the situation of wanting to stop crying and not knowing how to do it.
As the writer C. S. Lewis used to say, crying is all right in its own way as long as it lasts. However, there always comes a moment when we must stop to decide what to do with what is happening to us. Knowing what is behind this psychophysiological reaction is essential.
Why sometimes we can't stop crying? Sometimes we have times when we cry for everything and for nothing. This emotional reaction has an origin, a trigger that is better to clarify and understand. We cannot choose to repress this mechanism, to focus on stopping crying as if we were putting a band-aid on the wound without first healing it.
This physiological response can have multiple origins, states and even psychological disorders that should be clarified.
Reasons behind cryingOn average, the causes that orchestrate these situations may be the following:
Anxiety maintained over time, that which derives little by little in helplessness, in the perception that we can do nothing in the face of what happens to us.
Hormonal alterations. Conditions such as those associated with thyroid disorders may explain these changes in mood.
Physical and mental exhaustion.
Bereavement (loss of loved ones, emotional breakups, etc.).
Mood and personality disorders.
Personality traits, such as being excessively empathic.
"When I want to cry, I don't cry... and sometimes I cry without wanting to."
-Ruben Dario
3 basic techniques to stop cryingWater, protein, glucose, salt... Tears are said to have almost as many components as blood plasma. It is almost like the invisible "blood" of our emotions and that material that makes us human, although there are animals that also have the ability to express a form of crying, according to experts.
So, although we know that tears can be uncomfortable on many occasions, letting them flow does not hurt, it liberates. However, sometimes we need to stop this behavior and so we wonder how to stop crying. It should be noted that there is little scientific literature on how to achieve this effectively.
However, works such as those carried out at the University of Oxford and the University of Konstanz delve deeper into this topic. They emphasized that there are two types of techniques: those focused on the underlying emotion and those focused on the act of crying as such. In our case, we will delve into these two tools and some more. We will analyze them.
Cognitive techniques: thoughts that manage emotionsFor those who wonder how to stop crying, it is appropriate to start first with cognitive resources. That is, to focus on our thoughts and resort to mental strategies. To do this, it will be useful to ask ourselves the following questions:
Why do I want to stop crying? Sometimes, the surrounding social stigma causes us to choose to stifle crying, it is true. If this is our case, if we want to stifle crying so as not to attract attention, it is advisable to tell ourselves the following -> "I am holding back from crying now in front of others, but when I get home I will unburden myself in freedom and intimacy (I choose to postpone crying)".
Do I have real and reasonable reasons to cry? Sometimes, it is good to delve into those reasons why we cry in order to question ourselves and pass them through the filter of reality.
Can I re-evaluate what I feel? It is true that sometimes the emotional intensity is so high that it is difficult to think clearly. However, it can be helpful to re-evaluate thoughts, to give them another, more adjusted approach -> "It is true that this issue worries me, but if I calm down I will be able to think clearly and make better decisions".
Behavioral techniques: actions that divert the emotionFor those who wonder how to stop crying, behavioral strategies that are aimed at diverting the emotion will be of great help, since it is always appropriate to connect with what we feel in order to manage the root of the situation.
Let's look at those simpler resources that can be of great help:
A simple and effective behavioral resource that according to Vingerhoets et al. is effective to stop crying is to change the situation we are in. If we are at work, let's go out into the hallway for a cup of coffee. If we are in a library, let's go outside for some fresh air.
Distraction is another appropriate response: picking up the cell phone to listen to music, using anti-stress dolls, calling someone or playing sports can help us.
Deep or diaphragmatic breathing is very appropriate in situations of high emotional intensity.
Go for a walk.
Drinking water can also make it easier to reduce that lump in the throat that appears during crying.
Taking paper and pencil to write or simply leaving the mind blank and letting the hand scribble or draw can be helpful.
Emotional techniques to connect with the root of the problemThe above techniques to stop crying can serve as a stopgap in a specific moment. However, they will make it easier to solve the root problem or its trigger. We need to resort to psychoemotional strategies to understand the reason for this reaction, manage the emotion that provokes it and apply changes to improve our well-being.
It is good to understand that tears are not our enemies; we are not weak or fallible because we allow them. In fact, they are the allies of emotional catharsis. However, when they cease, the real work comes: to solve what hurts. Therefore, it is advisable to resort to some emotional strategy such as the following:
Validate what you feel: the sensations and emotions you experience are acceptable, do not repress them. Give them space and accept them.
Now visualize those emotions from a distance, as if you were watching a movie screen. What is behind them? Why are they there? What do they want to tell me? Do not judge yourself at any time.
Rationalize: What can you do to feel better? What changes can you make in the short and long term to improve the situation?
In conclusion, it is true that when we are drowning in a sea of tears we want to stop the situation as soon as possible. However, it is only when we allow ourselves to navigate through our emotions that we learn to take the helm, regaining control.
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2 года 4 мес. назад #355 от VivianPag
VivianPag ответил в теме The power of our words
The power of our words
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п»ї<title>The power of our words</title>

Whenever we are in front of a child we speak carefully, because we do not want them to learn incorrect or disrespectful words. We know that the word creates, that it sets an example and designates everything that surrounds us. Transmitting to the little ones the beauty of language and what we can achieve through it, is undoubtedly our greatest responsibility.
Words define reality and, in turn, give shape to action, to coexistence and also to what we conceive as humanity today. Let's think about it: language is the most exceptional competence of the genus homo, that ability that distinguished us from the rest of the species to allow us to advance and be what we are today.
That is also why nothing is as important as "thinking before speaking". It is through communication that we build our relationships of respect or aggression. It is through communication that we create closeness or distance. Taking into account these small aspects should help us to be more responsible, and not only in the upbringing and education of children by setting an example. We cannot forget that the way we speak to ourselves is also synonymous with well-being or suffering.
"The language of today is no worse than that of yesterday. It is more practical. Just like the world we live in."
-Noam Chomsky
Words have the power to create and to destroyOur words have the power to create and the power to destroy. The best example of this can be seen in a friendship or a relationship. Any word that is out of place or that may generate some kind of misunderstanding may cause the rupture of that bond.
Even the absence of words can cause some kind of problem. In relationships, above all, communication is extremely important. However, there is always some secret or something that is not told to the couple "for their own good" and that ends up leading to a series of conflicts that are very difficult to deal with and overcome.
But the reach of our words is much more powerful. Their capacity to create and destroy is also applicable to ourselves. Not listening to ourselves, making negative statements to ourselves and repressing what we want to say are some of the many ways in which we will hurt ourselves, feel frustrated and perhaps feed low self-esteem.
Abandon words like "this doesn't fit me", "I look bad today" or "I'm useless". Try to dedicate nice words to yourself, because if you don't do it, do you expect others to do it?
The importance of positive self-talkIf you don't say nice words to yourself, no one else will. Because the way you see yourself, that's the way others will see you. We have learned to dedicate these words to others, but what happens to us? It seems that we do not know how to give ourselves the value we deserve, we put ourselves in second place and this causes numerous problems. It is then when the "I am incapable" or "I can't" echo in our lives and become a reality.
Thus, experts on the subject such as Dr. Ian Burkit, from the University of Bradford, points out in a study that this 'micro dialogue' also allows us to build ourselves or even 'deconstruct' ourselves. We know that words have power, but the words we say to ourselves are of immense importance for our psychological well-being.
Re-educating our vocabularyAt this point, it would be ideal to re-educate, nurture and restore our vocabulary. As we grow older and mature we lose our innocence. This can diminish our ability to grow. Thus, we begin to doubt ourselves, to see the negative and the ugly, instead of the positive and beautiful, to distrust before knowing.
With daily expressions such as "Is there no food?" or "Is there food?" at first glance the question is practically the same, but in the first one we are already conditioning that there is NO FOOD. Therefore, a series of statements begin to emerge such as:
I am poor.
I do not have.
I am incapable.
I do not know.
I won't even try.
If I say I can't, it's true, I can't! But if I say I can! it is also true because I said it too. Words are not carried away by the wind, they are hooked in our mind and in our heart and thus they direct our life, by the path that we indicate to them. Words build external and internal realities and that is something we must keep in mind every day.
The power of our words is so great that if I say "I can't" it will be so.
If our vocabulary is poor and pessimistic, so will be our life. We want abundance, we want peace, we want to be happy, etc., but with our mouth we declare the opposite. When incoherence permeates our existence, what we desire will never be fulfilled.
Our future depends on our words, so let's start changing our life, taking care of the words we say and the way we speak. Let's do it as if we were always surrounded by children and our life will take the path we wish to follow.
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2 года 4 мес. назад #356 от VivianPag
Don't internalize the offenses of others, just smile and move on.
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п»ї<title>Don't internalize the offenses of others, just smile and move on.</title>
We are made in a great part of what others leave in us: of what we allow to settle inside us and of what we decide that does not have to stay longer than what took up clock time such as offenses.
They teach us to defend ourselves, also to love, but sometimes they forget to instill in us the wise pleasure of ignoring. That is why sometimes we move in dangerous and absolutist parameters: it was bad or good, disastrous or wonderful... cruel or kind.
This way of analyzing reality plays tricks on us because knowing how to tolerate the ambiguity of what happens in our lives is the first step to flow and that the world does not become a constant and exhausting struggle. Others are not constantly thinking about who we are and how we feel. Everyone is busy in their own struggle, which sometimes is not ours.
That is why we must give ourselves a chance to live more lightly and passionately in the present. Don't internalize the offenses of others: smile and move on. Give yourself a break and others a lesson.
Not to internalize is to know how to liveNot to internalize everything that happens to us is to watch as a spectator what we may not be able to tolerate as the only and long-suffering protagonist. The world is wrapped in battles and we have to be smart in choosing which is ours and which is the others'... only by keeping your spirit clean can you help the rest.
"Be kind. Every person you meet is fighting his own battle."
If we had to take seriously every offense that others want to take against us we would be much more broken than whole. Assuming that there are people who will never empathize with our situation or our struggle opens a hopeful path for us: to be able to choose our spiritual allies more quickly, without resentment and deriving the greatest vital enjoyment from their company.
Not internalizing offenses does not mean being blind to them. What hurts us is automatic, we do not give permission to emotional pain to hurt us or not... in the same way that we cannot avoid that when we touch a burning plate our hand withdraws because of the reflex of heat and physical pain.
But if we are capable of knowing how to withdraw our hand in time when there is a risk of getting burned... Why do you sometimes surrender your mind and soul to the flames of resentment and offense, why not assume that feeling offended and hurt is normal, and instead remain installed there is dangerous?
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Wisdom is also to ignore what is not worth it.
Wise are also those capable of ignoring and letting go of what does not enrich, what brings storms on sunny days and tears to the heart.
Not to internalize is to stop being susceptible in order to be intelligent.
Not internalizing offenses does not make you insensitive, cold or cruel. It is simply not to give pleasure and pleasure to those people who, in reality, wanted to hurt us and to give ourselves the ability to forget what inside us is only a hindrance.
Not to internalize offenses is to endow our brain with greater eagerness and prevention for future unpleasant situations... and to endow our soul with strength and determination to be able to face them.
"Choose your battles well, sometimes being at peace is more important than being right."
Sometimes we see this as impossible. Dramatizing is part of our life because many people around us do it. It seems that great stories are only full of regrets and that people who sometimes label us as successful are always in tension and attacking others. That if we don't stand up to them it is a sign of weakness, when in reality it is a sign of greed and emotional maturity.
Distinguish who wants to help you from who only wants to harm youThe mental traps that we sometimes inflict on ourselves are much more cruel and pernicious than all the offenses, aggressions and humiliations that others do to us or try to do to us.
We have turned the most distinctive weapon of human beings into a kind of perpetuator of anguish and confusion: verbal language, words... are sometimes used as an internal destructive dialogue, rather than as an ability to simplify our communication with others.
The interpretations of what others have done or said to us are infinitely more enduring than the actual time they have been in our lives. "So much internal verbiage" takes us away from objectivity about reality.
For example, many times we assure "I have been judged many times", "I have been looked at badly", "I have been continuously corrected in my work"; without making an exercise of differentiation and proportionality.
Of all the people who caused us harm... How many of them were really doing it to themselves, do they mean anything today in our lives, have they really prevented us from fulfilling our dreams?
If you answer these questions you will realize that in most cases you have internalized the offense so much (perhaps your excessive ego has encouraged it), that you have multiplied by a thousand the real damage they caused you.
Stop appreciating what once caused you to despise. Draw general conclusions, analyze what you failed in all those occasions and what others failed in, what do all those people have in common to make their offense hurt you so much.
Sometimes, this analysis shows you the environments you should avoid... and sometimes, what you should improve in yourself so that it is you and not the negative that surrounds you that lives inside you. One cannot give anything new and good, if everything inside is old and resentful.
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